Know What Matters: An ACT Inspired Approach to a More Fulfilling Life
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a therapeutic modality that focuses on psychological flexibility, acceptance of reality, and living in accordance with your personal values. It’s an energizing and empowering form of treatment for many common mental health conditions including anxiety, depression, perfectionism and low self-esteem.
ACT works by helping people define what matters to them most, and take committed action towards goals that are in line with what they care about. Other core concepts of ACT include choosing acceptance over resistance and judgment, and “cognitive defusion” a term for de-identifying with thoughts and feelings, and observing them instead. The core ACT concept of know what matters highlights the importance of knowing your personal values and making choices that honor and reflect those values.
Our values define who we are and what we care about. Values can change throughout the lifespan but are often key components of what makes us who we are.
For example, some of my core values are:
Community
Family
Curiosity
Art/Creativity
Autonomy
Kindness
Joy
Humor
Nature
Once you’ve named your values, a major component of ACT is creating goals and taking action based on the values. ACT asks you to reflect on your “why?”. Why do you want to change? What do you want to be different, and what are you willing to do to make it happen? Defining your values will help you define goals that matter to you and live more authentically.
Living a life that reflects your values can often lead to a sense of fulfillment, purpose and liberation. It doesn’t mean that taking action towards your goals will always be easy, but remembering your why can help you stay motivated. Every day we make decisions, those decisions are sometimes being made without much thought or consideration. ACT asks you to slow down and mindfully consider your values at each “choice point”: the point in decision-making where you can either decide to take action towards the goal/value, or away from it.
If your goals are not aligned with your values, reaching your goals may leave you feeling unfulfilled or wanting more. You can’t get enough of what you don’t really want.
Questions to help you assess your values:
What matters to you?
What qualities do you want to be remembered for?
What are your values? Are you living a life that reflects your values?
Creating goals to reflect your values:
Is there anything you do more or less of that would result in living a life more in accordance with your values?
What’s a small, attainable action that you can take on a daily or weekly basis that reflects one of your top values? (Ex. Volunteering to teach a weekly painting class to reflect the goal of community, giving back, and art)
Are you open to doing things differently if it meant you would be living more in line with your values?
Acceptance and commitment therapy will challenge you to think and behave differently, which can be a difficult thing to do. This is why we ask about willingness, are you willing to do things differently? If not, what’s getting in the way? Barriers to change are common and natural. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone, a skilled therapist can help you navigate these changes and any barriers that come up. And as I always tell my clients, if it doesn’t work, you can always go back to doing things the way you were before.
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